Personal Therapy Session

9 Feb

by Stella De Genova

I feel like I’ve learned to accept my blindness.  I’ve come to terms that I need to use a cane – and that I can get around more easily and safely with it.  I can go downtown and back on my own, no problem.  But then, when I’m with family members, I suddenly feel self-conscious about the cane.  What is the explanation for this?   What crazy, subconscious feelings am I harboring?  Or am I worried about what feelings they might be harboring?  In the end, does it even matter?  It takes everyone courage to get through every day of life, sighted or unsighted and who has time to worry about what everyone else is thinking?  Hell, it takes enough energy to make sure I don’t fall off a curb or walk into a glass door or window.  Really, I have a loving family and I don’t believe they think anything negative of me.  I put the pressure on myself.  It keeps me grounded!  And so, time to put these little gremlins and queries away and get on with the day.  Thanks for listening and helping me work this one out.


3 Responses to “Personal Therapy Session”

  1. Mani G. iyer February 9, 2012 at 11:00 AM #

    Good job, Stella! You really write well.
    Remember, the gremlins coming out of a blind person’s head are blind too! 🙂
    Keep writing.

  2. Stella De Genova February 10, 2012 at 10:25 AM #

    As one of your family members, I agree, just let those little gremlins go. I know the demons you have had to fight just to accept your need of a cane. I respect the difficulties you have overcome to get to the place you are at today. I have watched through loving eyes, the battles you are fighting everyday. The end result is that you are dealing with it with grace and dignity. Your children are beautiful both inside and out. Your home is warm and loving and beautiful. Your personal relationships are strong and passionate. Your reach outside of yourself to care about issues of the world around you. The beauty of your talent and creativity amazes me. That is you. You are one of the most important people in my life and I appreciate you more than you could possibly imagine. I am just one person that is lucky enough to have you in my life. Multiply that by everyone else and then ask, “Cane, what cane?”

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