Tag Archives: blind

Diseased

26 Apr

by Ana Garza

I see the defective human bodies of the earth,
The blind, the deaf and dumb, idiots, hunchbacks, lunatics,
The pirates, thieves, betrayers, murderers, slave-makers of the earth,
        –Walt Whitman (“Salut au Mond” 1889-1892)
 
When Whitman saw,
probably I was
dozing in a hand-planed chair, listening
to my grown children and my toddling grandchildren
speaking kindnesses in the parlor of some tucked away house,
 
or maybe I was
suckling my mother’s milk or cooing
in my cradle, too caught up in my fingers, the silk
side rails and the wool blanket I rubbed
against my face,
 
or I could have been
sewing that afternoon in the window
of a scrubbed house with lavendered women
whose comfort was that Jesus healed
people like me with mud from spit,
 
or possibly I wasn’t
caught up in the poet’s multitudes but set, like stone,
along the bank–my palm turned up,
a bowl, a bell, my call
for alms above his song–or more
 
likely, I just slept
on a cot, fevered in tifus, warming
my fingers between my thighs, until men or women versed
in charity smudged
rags across my hands and face
to raise me
 
for a meal. More likely, this
is where I was: a school
with broom handles to be sanded
for sale, broken
walls, drafts, bloated
floorboards, loose straw, unfed minds
and idle bodies for the babbling
lookers-on to notice
how the sloppy fingers of the blind stretch,
reaching for a voice.
 

Ana Garza wrote this poem while taking a graduate course on Walt Whitman, a poet known for his amazing inclusiveness. When she came across the line quoted in the epigraph, she noticed that blind people, like herself, weren’t really included.  Ana has an M. F. A. from California State University, Fresno. forty-four of her poems have appeared in various journals and anthologies, most recently in A handful of Stones, The New Verse News and The Mom Egg.

Colors

30 Mar

by Fred Nikkl

I was riding the elevator down from the Second Sense blind services organization where I volunteer and happened to hear two people discussing the new colors there office was being painted.  Now it has been over fifty years since I have been able to see colors so their interest in the color scheme of their office didn’t hold much interest for me.  Later, it occurred to me that not being interested in color could be considered to be a little strange.  We are surrounded by color wherever we go.  Everyone has an opinion about the colors around them.  Just because I can’t see the colors around me shouldn’t mean they are not of interest to me.  The problem for me is that my memories of color have faded over the years since I have been blind.  What is blue?  For that matter, what do all the colors look like?  My memory of green, for example, conjures up particular memories.  I picture the dress greens I wore in the army.  Of course, that is only one shade of green.  How many others are there?  How can I compare one shade to another when considering the color of my shirt or anything else for that matter?  My color identifier gives a name to everything I try it on but that doesn’t tell me enough about the particular shade the color is. Some blind people only wear certain colors just to be on the safe side but that seems kind of boring to me.  I have been lucky to always have someone to take shopping with me so I have some idea of the colors I am buying.  The problem with that is that everyone has a different idea of how different colors go together.  One person says I look good in a certain shade of blue and the next person says something different.  Maybe there isn’t a definitive answer to the color question.  

I think I will choose a particular shade of blue and use it as a basic color for my color choices. Being a man, this will be a lot easier than if I were a woman!

Fred Nikkl is 69 years old and has fun writing.  e lost his sight when he was a young adult but has never let that stop him from being a good dad, grandfather, friend, advocate for the blind and generally nice guy.  Blindness has also never stopped his love for adventure, including dabbling in writing.  His previously posted story on Vision Through Words called Hope will be appearing on the Magnets and Ladders website for writers with disabilities.

A Special Poetry Selection

8 Mar

by Alice Shapiro

Glow

Glow- ing
from the inside.
 
Smile-less, a face that knows no smile
is the true heart.
 
I can feel the shiver
of love
 
in visual silence, as if it were a blinding light
 
searing heat into my skin, erupting like July explosions
 
illuminating the unfathomable
sky.
 

Midnight

 At midnight as I wake from dreams,
horrors that encumber peace,
distant roars from racing cars emerge
from out the stillness, and pull, thankfully,
at my attention.
Where are the chirping birds, familiar sounds
to recognize its morning? No sun, and so
it is time to turn to darkness and the bed
again. Recoiling from the tasteless prospect,
water splashed on bleary eyes,
I trudge toward waking fully and sit erect.
Deep inside, and still asleep, a portion of me balks
at midnight that to start a day is futile.
A tragic fear pours its message down into
the light, and resistance owns the night.
I fight it. I reason, pledge to try
all the while staring at a blackness
that beckons plain to weariness.
Lost between two worlds, I think.
 

Interruption

 It is the deepest part of night.
Resisting the exit from sleep,
eyes swollen shut,
still half within a dream,
Nature calls.
It takes some while
to transition
from sedentary rest
into just enough awareness
to sense the danger of retreat
back to the pillow.
So, the trek begins from bed
in the moonless dark.
A hand extends,
an eye’s substitute
to navigate the path ahead—
past armoire
past door jamb
trembling, reaching for
the blinding light.
It is within this faint condition,
business done,
that comes another invitation—
the lure of sinking back to
dark oblivion,
supplanted
by the pen.
Into the unseen dawn,
scratches on a page
recount
a journey won—
one more day on Earth,
one more sun.
 

Alice Shapiro wrote these poems specifically for a reading at Borders Books in 2009 with the theme of “Vision” and were read in Braille by Destiny White at the event. In these poems, Alice tried to capture some idea of what a blind person might “see.”  These poems were published in her  second poetry book, Life: Descending/Ascending.  Alice is the author of 3 poetry books and one play which won the Bill C. Davis Drama Award.  She currently serves as Poet Laureate of Douglasville, Georgia.

What Is the Right Color?

6 Mar

by Stella De Genova

What’s it like to be a visually impaired artist whose color differentiation is fading?  Frustrating may be the first word that comes to mind but I’m not going to be that hard on myself.  I take this as a new opportunity to break the rules and color outside of the lines. Depending the time of day or lighting, colors change and may or may not be so apparent.  And that’s for people with good vision.  If you look at something long enough, you’ll see more than one color in just about anything.  And you can paint white snow or a white vase without even using white paint.  So try as I may, I don’t always get it right, which is OK because it makes for new interpretations of everyday life.  It makes me smile when the art instructor critiques my piece and says “Green usually works better in skin tones than blue but that really worked for you.”  Little does she know that I thought I did use green!  Of course, if I start out really wanting something to be accurate, I’ll ask someone for the correct colors but as the picture takes its own shape and I keep adding new layers, the colors tend to change.  Yes, when this new aspect of my vision loss started, it was frustrating but I’m learning to be less of a perfectionist and ultimately, that means I have the freedom to have more fun.

This is an excerpt I wrote for Maribel Steel’s blog, At the Gateway to Blindness, and a piece of Part 2 of her series called The Art of Being Blind.  You can read Maribel’s full post and and Parts 1 and 3 at:  http://www.gatewaytoblindness.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-art-of-being-blind-part-2-what.html .

Bus Romance?

1 Mar

by Fred Nikkl

Here comes the bus, I hear it turning the corner at Southport. It pulls up in front of me and I swing my cane out and tap the front of the bus. The door is open so I step up onto the first step and then up the rest. My fare card is in my hand as I reach out for the fare box. As I slide my card through the card reader I say hello to the driver and get a grunt in reply. Oh well, maybe he’s having a bad day too. I find the first seat behind the driver and sit down.  At least the air is working on the bus on this hot, sticky day.

The bus is pretty empty as this is the beginning of the line. It starts filling up as we get to Lakeview High School. I lean a little forward so my shirt is away from the back of the seat to help circulate some cool air. My right hand is holding my cane and my left hand is on my knee. The little finger is on the left side of my knee and the middle three fingers are over the front of my knee with my thumb on the right side of my knee. The bus is getting more crowded. People are starting to stand in the aisles. Then I feel some cloth brush across the back of my left hand and up to my wrist. Then I feel bare skin against my little finger and my thumb. I freeze. What is happening? That felt like a woman’s skirt brushing across my hand, it can’t be shorts as there isn’t any material touching the fingers over the top of my knee. Does this woman know what she is doing? Is this just an innocent act on her part? Is she trying to tell me something? How should I react?  If she has just moved close to me to make room for other passengers then any move on my part will probably cause her to scream. Why would any woman be interested in an old fat blind guy? What to do? I raise my head as if to look at her but she doesn’t respond. Wait, maybe her legs are pressing harder on my fingers. Is this a signal? I open my mouth and close it again because I can’t think of anything to say.

Then as quick as it started, her legs move away and the feel of her skirt is gone. I guess it was nothing, or was it something and I failed the test?  For years now, I have wondered about that encounter. What was really happening?  Was it all my imagination? I don’t know but it’s fun to think about what might have happened if I had responded differently.  It’s something to dream about during those long lonely nights I spend by myself.

Sometimes imagination is better than the real thing.

Fred Nickl, Sr. is 69 years old and has fun writing.  e lost his sight when he was a young adult but has never let that stop him from being a good dad, grandfather, friend, advocate for the blind and generally nice guy.  Blindness has also never stopped his love for adventure, including dabbling in writing.  His previously posted story on Vision Through Words called Hope will be appearing on the Magnets and Ladders website for writers with disabilities

Not a Mask

4 Feb

by Nancy Scott

The whole thing started by accident.

 

My across-the-hall neighbor gave me the big beige hat.  “I’m trying to quit smoking,” his gruff voice explained.  “So I knit.  I’m better at it than my wife, now.  I see you walking outside and your ears need a hat.”

 

It was late October.  I needed to lower my blood pressure and to lose weight.  Walking inside the house was boring.  So, most decent days, I paced between front downspout and back flowerbed, trailing the fence and moving fast.  The path was generally clear; I didn’t need my white cane.

 

I wasn’t sure about a knitted hat with a huge pompom on top, but I wanted to honor his gesture.  The first day I wore it my nose and lips were freezing.  I wanted half a mile and my talking pedometer wasn’t there.  I pulled the hat down over my face.  It went below my chin.  Wonderful!  Scarf and hat with no tying.  I braved late fall and early winter with face covered.

 

I never thought how odd this would look to sighted people.  My first verbal encounter was with the neighbor who shoveled our snow.  He said, “Nan, that better be you under there.  Anybody else would have to see where they’re going.”  I laughed and raised the hat.  “Of course it’s me.”

 

My next encounter happened while waiting for a ride to a Radio Reading Service Board meeting.  The Board president pulled up.  I walked to his car, cane in hand.  As I got in, I adjusted the  hat.  “How can you see where…?”  Ernie stopped, realizing what he was about to ask. “Oh, right.”  I smiled, but Ernie was disturbed.  He knew I was a blind person but he apparently hadn’t grasped the whole concept.  He valued sight a lot, and my temporary blindfold bothered him.  (He still tells the hat story, though he sees the humor now.)

 

Fascinated,  I began purposefully wearing the hat down when I could.  Of course anything covering my ears was out of the question if I moved in unfamiliar territory by myself.  So when Bev and I went for a walk on College Hill she guided my masked, white-caned self into shops and a  restaurant.  Bev described all the incredulous looks we got.  Some people laughed; some didn’t, at first.  We still giggle about that day now.

 

I gave up the beige hat because the pompom took forever to dry after washing.  My next hat was a gift from my more fashion-conscious brother.  I forget its color, but it was furry and it had a scarf attached.  I kept warm and occasionally tested people’s instinctive reactions to blindness.  I heard everything from “You just want to see what we’ll do” to “But your eyes are covered.”

 

By the time Anne gave me the stretchy red hat, I’d moved into a high-rise.  “It will protect your ears better, and it goes with your gloves,” she said.  “And you can’t wear it down over your eyes.” “Wanna bet?”  I immediately tugged.  I got it past my nose.  “You are so bad,” Anne commented.  Surely that was a compliment.

 

Nancy Scott’s over-600 bylines have appeared in magazines, literary journals, anthologies and newspapers, and as audio commentaries. An essayist and poet, she has published three chapbooks.

Recent work appears in  Breath and Shadow,  Contemporary Haibun Online, and Thema.  She won First Prize in the 2009 International Onkyo Braille Essay Contest.

Hand Blind

22 Jan

by Nancy Scott

Too much grasping,

too much stroking and guessing,

too much need for fur and feathers,

too much checking for dust.

 

In alchemy of rebellion,

my hand turns touch to sand,

invents grit and friction

till skin peels

its release from feeling.

 

Slender fingers of my youth

demand different attention–

lotions, cocoa-butter soaps

and less time in water.

 

Now, I am grateful

to have the brush of healing

when flannel feels soft,

to find dust with conviction

and to read Braille with silken speed

of ungloved second sight.

 

Nancy Scott’s over-600 bylines have appeared in magazines, literary journals, anthologies and newspapers, and as audio commentaries. An essayist and poet, she has published three chapbooks.

Recent work appears in  Breath and Shadow,  Contemporary Haibun Online, and Thema.  She won First Prize in the 2009 International Onkyo Braille Essay Contest.

Blind

11 Jan

by James Langston Hughes

I am blind
I cannot see.
Color is no bar to me.
I know neither
Black nor white.
I walk in night.
Yet it seems I see mankind
More tortured than the blind.
Can it be that those who know
Sight are often doomed to woe?
Or is it that, seeing,
They never see
With the infinite eyes
Of one like me?

James Langston Hughes (1902-1967) was born in Missouri and was an activist, columnist, playwright, musician and poet.  Did he write about mankind’s blindness or was he actually blind?

There’s a Song in the Air

22 Dec

by Marilyn Brandt-Smith

Music has always been my strongest means for expressing and celebrating the spiritual beauty of Christmas. As a good harmony singer on a school campus where music played a leading role, I rose early on our day for going home. In the older girls’ cottage we donned warm clothing and took to the roads on campus to sing beneath windows and on patios at other dormitories. This rite of passage had been our dream ever since we were those little girls, cold from crisp air through open windows, but captured by the magic of Christmas harmony. Anticipating hot cocoa and breakfast served early, we serenaded the superintendent and the men in the boiler room providing our steam heat. The night before, in our annual Christmas pageant, we tried our wings onstage or sang from the balcony, open to the back of the auditorium from the second floor. We got goosebumps as three high school boys with grown-up, handsome voices walked up the center aisle singing “We Three Kings,” and joined the manger scene onstage.

Each line in this collection of haiku is taken from a song celebrating the nativity. Some songs and verses may be obscure, but most are familiar. Some mystery writers in the 1930′s used footnotes to prove they’d dropped clues here and there. I offer a list, ordered by line, of the songs from which I borrowed lyrics.

 No crying he makes,
The babe, the son of Mary,
Born in Bethlehem.
 
Angels bending near,
What your gladsome tidings be?
So, to honor him.
 
Sing, choirs of angels;
Rise up, shepherd, and follow
The stars in the sky.
 
Peace to men on Earth!
Go tell it on the mountain;
Come little children.
 
Come and behold him;
Lo, how a rose e’er blooming,
Born on Christmas day.
 
He shall feed his flock;
The weary world rejoices;
Sheep may safely graze.
 
Yay, Lord, we greet Thee,
Born to raise the sons of Earth,
His gospel is peace.
 
Star of Bethlehem,
Guide us to thy perfect light;
Christ was born for this.
 
**********
 Sources:

There’s a Song in the Air, Away in a Manger, What Child is This?, Children, Go Where I Send Thee, It Came Upon a Midnight Clear, Angels We have Heard on High, Little Drummer Boy, Oh, Come, All Yee Faithful, Rise Up, Shepherd, and Follow, Oh Little Town of Bethlehem, Go Tell it on the Mountain, Oh Come, Little Children, Lo, How a Rose E’er Blooming, Mary’s Boy Child, He Shall Feed His Flock, from Handel’s Messiah, Oh Holy Night, Sheep May Safely Graze, from a cantata by Bach, Hark! the Herald Angels Sing, Beautiful Star of Bethlehem, We Three Kings of Orient Are,  and Good Christian Men, Rejoice

Marilyn Brandt Smith’s writings reflect memories of her childhood at the Texas School for the Blind (1955) and at home on a ranch in south Texas.  She taught children in summer programs and adults in year-round rehabilitation centers and in their homes. Marilyn also worked as a counselor and a director of rehabilitation for several agencies across the country. She is now totally blind and lives with my family in a hundred-year-old home in Louisville, Kentucky.

Use Your Love to See

27 Nov

by Stella De Genova

Love makes the world go ‘round . . .

Love is all you need . . .

I believe in love . . .

Love is blind.

Wait a minute, that’s not right.  Love is not blind.  Sometimes we want something so badly that we delude ourselves and that is what blinds us.  But just breathe and there is love to be felt and seen everywhere.  Love is vision – true, unconditional love is vision.  Actually, love is all of our senses. Love can’t be searched for, acquired or captured because we already possess it.  I no longer look for love with my eyes.  There is joy.  There is pain.  There is reward and there is loss.  All of these experiences are shared with those we love and those who love us.  None of these things can be seen with my failing eyes but with my heart:

I can see clearly now.

(This was inspired by Carmela Di Nardo – De Genova: 1/9/26 – 11/25/12.  She was a living lesson of love.)

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